Young Leaves of Barley in Whole

Sometimes I wish I can live on an island with no internet, no TV. Just me, and a book, maybe a glass of lemonade, on a hammock, accompanied by the gentle brush of ocean breeze and the soothing sound of the waters splashing and the palm trees rattling. To just enjoy nature for what it's worth. Like the old days.

That, though, seem too much like a picture from a traveling brochure, maybe to Hawaii or the Caribbean. In the world I live in, life is saturated with electronics and social interaction. With noises.

But it still doesn't prevent me from trying to replicate the tranquility that I long for. On the patio outside my suite.

I made a cup of "Young Leaves of Barley in Whole" veggie soy milk thing (that my mom bought from some Japanese store that's supposed to be the equivalent of eating veggies! It tasted like green tea soymilk, YUMS), grabbed a book and a sitting cushion, and went out to the patio where I sat, read, and sipped my soymilk while enjoying the San Diego breeze that made the trees swayed side to side, and listening to the dull and gentle hum of cars and people and everything else.

Well, that's the best I can do for now.

Close enough to my Caribbean life, don't you think?

051310 Of Being A Girl

Today as I was walking out of the bathroom next to Panda Express in PC I ran into a girl who was just coming through the door. Upon seeing me, she shouted angrily: "DON'T EVER DATE A GUY NAME DRAKE CUZ HE JUST MADE ME DEAF IN ONE EAR."

I stood dumbly, speechless as she brushed past me to go towards the sink, where she proceeded to try to hide her puffy eyes with cold running water. I took a step out the door, but immediately retracted and went to her, hugging her sobbing person and patting her on the back while telling her that "it's okay". She gave me an incoherent string of apologies that I managed to make out in between her sniffs, and held me tight. A minutes later as her crying subsided, she grabbed some tissue and thanked me before going out the door- bravely facing what I assumed the single life.

I guess this is one of the differences between girls and guys. Girls are there for other girls, even if they don't know the other girl or her situation. We willingly offer our condolence in moments of vulnerability, hold no reservation in becoming the other's solace just so she can stand back up again, so that she can face the challenges before her bravely again, if not braver than before.

But girls aren't all daisies and stars, hearts and kisses either. We're multilayered. We're gentle but when we put our mind to it we're forceful. We're naive and innocent but to achieve our goals we can be cunning. We're strong but easily breakable. We're Complicated. We're walking contradictions.

What I'm trying to say in this post is that: guys, please handle us gently. We're fragile. Besides your machoness and masculinity, please do use some sensitivity that is born in you. If you wrong one girl, well let's just say, world spreads quickly through the intricate web of social communication. We are, after all, queens of gossip.

Now that I know to never date a guy name Drake.

Giving back...

A way overdue "giving back" - one that I've been wanting to do but couldn't because certain things required me to not put myself in a vulnerable state-ie, sports. But since we're taking a break now, I decided that it was time.

I donated blood today. On my way to lunch I was persuaded by that seemingly nice lady to go sit down and sign up to donate blood. How easily-persuaded I am...

It wasn't my first time, but it's the first time that I ran into difficulties.
My blood didn't flow as fast as usual. She had to wiggle the needle in my arm to find my vein. Ouch. It really hurt.

Afterwards I felt lightheaded and tired and hungry and emotionally vulnerable that all I wanted to do was crash. I think it was because I didn't eat until a lot later (4:50). Gah, day ruiner #1. I hate feeling vulnerable. I hate wanting to cry. But all the things just keep building up, and the tears are just threatening to spill.

But hey, at least now I will know that the next person needing AB+ blood won't die of blood lost. Because if he/she does, then the doctor is obviously lying about "doing everything I could."

I mean, how the the universal receiver die of blood lost...? o.O

haha :D

Kind of disappointed that I didn't get to go do something that I've been looking forward to for a while.
...too bad I wasn't born couple years earlier. :/

Then maybe things would be different.
Everything would be different.

Free Fall

The higher you climb, the harder you fall.

Bone-shatteringly
Hope-shatteringly
Heart-shatteringly.