RE: Nostalgia

Minutes after posting up that last depressing post, I stumbled upon this post.

In an odd way it cheered me up. Because before reading that all I could think about was work and school and how tomorrow will only bring more disappointment.

Then I was reminded of the big picture, the world outside of school and work, reality.

Tomorrow, brings me one day closer to graduation, one day closer to my goal in life, and one day closer to that day when I can go back to Taiwan, even if it's just for visiting.

I miss home. I really do.

But it's a good kind of missing. It's a motivation.

Thanks.

This shade of depressing blue really doesn't suit me.
Time for Change. :)

When Life Gives You Lemons...

...it never said they are sweet.

(DUH, lemons aren't sweet.)

Chemistry midterm answer key came out tonight, and all I can say is: disappointment.

Not at my grade, but at myself. Because now that I look at how much I studied, well, let's just say, it wasn't much.
I think around the same time last quarter I felt the same way too- that I'm the worst possible student failing everything. And just because I managed to salvage my grade by then end of the quarter DOES NOT justify me doing it again this quarter. I told myself repeatedly that I won't let the same thing happen again, but it has only gotten 4 times worse. Because now, it's not only one or two classes, it's all of them.

The sense of disappointment is just brewing in my chest with every passing day.
Mom did say that 臨時抱佛腳 never works; that putting everything off until the last second is bad.
And the worse thing is that I know it. I know it but I still do it.
I can do so much better. Why am I not?

Pull yourself together, girl.

(Insert Motivation)

It's week four of this quarter and I'm feeling a bit tired. I would catch myself sighing more often than I used to. Everyday is so jam-packed with obligations and work and study and physical activities that I hardly have the time to sit down and breathe...

...everyday is filled with long strides and fast pace to get from Warren to York, York to Warren...
so fast, so quick, and no time to slow down and look UP.

And it wasn't until today when I realized how much I've missed.

The trees have changed colors. They're no longer bare.

The campus smells more floral with the Jasmines blooming.

And it wasn't until today that I noticed the difference.

All the things that I used to find joy in, the things that motivate me, I've missed them completely.

No wonder I've been feeling dejected these days. Like an old woman.

Motivation. Please come back.

I will slow down tomorrow.

Sky, please be pretty tomorrow...
...for me to admire.