Of Living with Dictator 1 & Bully 2

I don't really remember the entirety of my dream last night, only snippets. One particular scene, however, stood vivid in my memory, and the tsunami of emotions that crashed over me at that particular time in my dream feels just as clear now as it did then.

I dreamt of a very expensive looking food processor. What was better: it was on sale. *insert JOY&EXCITEMENT*

What. the. Fuck?

Yea, I thought so too.

I guess it has been a while since I tearfully bid farewell to the good companion of Nina's former aparmentmate's handy-dandy food processor, and I guess it has also been a while since I last touched the oven. Lately, I haven't been inspired to bake anything. The closest I've come to wanting to bake was upon seeing some sinfully delicious looking Ferrero Rocher Macarons (with FR being my favorite chocolate dessert and all), but it soon died as I stumbled across some other exquisite looking French dishes that made me wanna COOK more than BAKE (namely Anthony Bourdain's Roti de Porc Au Lait).

Well, let's hope foodgawker spits out some inspirational desserts sometime soon, or fatty Jon's not getting any sweets.

Which, leads me to the title of this post: my housemates. or more specifically, Jon & Bailey & Nina. Oh how I love living with them. Everyday is filled with mild insults and playful banters that makes me laugh so hard that I think I might get abs just from laughing by the end of this year.

Dictator 1: Bailey Zhao

"You should be HONORED to be in my presence."

Bully 2: Jon Lin

"Go to your room. Yea, that's right. Do as I say."

and what are we (Nina&me)? The giggle girls & the minions.

"Oh yes honorable Bailey!"

I will be sad when Bailey leaves at the end of this month. (I think.)

I'll miss him though, no lie.

Start of Solidarity

Today marks the official end of my dormitory life. I was officially "kicked out" of my dorm at noon. Strangely, instead of emptiness, I was filled with courage and curiosity. Like growing up. I wonder how life is going to be beyond this point. And thus the adventure begins.

Today was also a step forward for many of my good friends, namely, the seniors from Marshall, Revelle, and Muir. It was their graduation today, signifying the completion of their four years of hard work. Congratulations. I wish them luck as they plunge into the adult world and become part of the working society.

Oh yea, today also signifies the start of Summer vacation. BOOYAH. Let's go play.

End of Freshman Year

The year came and went in a flash. First day of orientation, moving into the dorms, first day of class, fall quarter, winter quarter, spring quarter. All the memories still burn freshly in my mind. Where did the time go?

The end leaves a bittersweet taste in my mouth. I'm happy that I finished the first year of college (I survived!), but there are several things that I thought could have been better. One of which included regret for not knowing my suitemates (and the guys next door!) better until this quarter.

For the past days as I spent countless amount of time with them- going to Red Robins, going to PC, and just, hanging out- I've come to realize that how many times in a lifetime will I really get the chance to live with so many girls? How often does it happen when your friend is literally right next door? I mean, yea, they do little things that piss me off sometimes, but still. It's an experience that will be remembered forever.

And as I pack my things now, I can't help let sadness wash over me. I bite back my tears, and tell myself that it's okay.

Tonight's the last night in the dorms. Let's go have fun.

Steven Berra

So my friend and her boyfriend were talking in my common area and I overheard this conversation:

Boyfriend: "Duude, so like I saw Steven Berra today at the taco shop and I got to shake hands with him."

Girl: "Oh really? Did you get his autograph?"

Boyfriend: "Nah, I went up to him and said 'hey bro, just keep doing what you do.' Did I ever tell you that I think it's stupid to ask for someone's autograph? It's like, asking a person you admire to do something so materialistic like..signing their name...on a piece of paper. What's the point?"

Hands down. So true.

Young Leaves of Barley in Whole

Sometimes I wish I can live on an island with no internet, no TV. Just me, and a book, maybe a glass of lemonade, on a hammock, accompanied by the gentle brush of ocean breeze and the soothing sound of the waters splashing and the palm trees rattling. To just enjoy nature for what it's worth. Like the old days.

That, though, seem too much like a picture from a traveling brochure, maybe to Hawaii or the Caribbean. In the world I live in, life is saturated with electronics and social interaction. With noises.

But it still doesn't prevent me from trying to replicate the tranquility that I long for. On the patio outside my suite.

I made a cup of "Young Leaves of Barley in Whole" veggie soy milk thing (that my mom bought from some Japanese store that's supposed to be the equivalent of eating veggies! It tasted like green tea soymilk, YUMS), grabbed a book and a sitting cushion, and went out to the patio where I sat, read, and sipped my soymilk while enjoying the San Diego breeze that made the trees swayed side to side, and listening to the dull and gentle hum of cars and people and everything else.

Well, that's the best I can do for now.

Close enough to my Caribbean life, don't you think?

051310 Of Being A Girl

Today as I was walking out of the bathroom next to Panda Express in PC I ran into a girl who was just coming through the door. Upon seeing me, she shouted angrily: "DON'T EVER DATE A GUY NAME DRAKE CUZ HE JUST MADE ME DEAF IN ONE EAR."

I stood dumbly, speechless as she brushed past me to go towards the sink, where she proceeded to try to hide her puffy eyes with cold running water. I took a step out the door, but immediately retracted and went to her, hugging her sobbing person and patting her on the back while telling her that "it's okay". She gave me an incoherent string of apologies that I managed to make out in between her sniffs, and held me tight. A minutes later as her crying subsided, she grabbed some tissue and thanked me before going out the door- bravely facing what I assumed the single life.

I guess this is one of the differences between girls and guys. Girls are there for other girls, even if they don't know the other girl or her situation. We willingly offer our condolence in moments of vulnerability, hold no reservation in becoming the other's solace just so she can stand back up again, so that she can face the challenges before her bravely again, if not braver than before.

But girls aren't all daisies and stars, hearts and kisses either. We're multilayered. We're gentle but when we put our mind to it we're forceful. We're naive and innocent but to achieve our goals we can be cunning. We're strong but easily breakable. We're Complicated. We're walking contradictions.

What I'm trying to say in this post is that: guys, please handle us gently. We're fragile. Besides your machoness and masculinity, please do use some sensitivity that is born in you. If you wrong one girl, well let's just say, world spreads quickly through the intricate web of social communication. We are, after all, queens of gossip.

Now that I know to never date a guy name Drake.

Giving back...

A way overdue "giving back" - one that I've been wanting to do but couldn't because certain things required me to not put myself in a vulnerable state-ie, sports. But since we're taking a break now, I decided that it was time.

I donated blood today. On my way to lunch I was persuaded by that seemingly nice lady to go sit down and sign up to donate blood. How easily-persuaded I am...

It wasn't my first time, but it's the first time that I ran into difficulties.
My blood didn't flow as fast as usual. She had to wiggle the needle in my arm to find my vein. Ouch. It really hurt.

Afterwards I felt lightheaded and tired and hungry and emotionally vulnerable that all I wanted to do was crash. I think it was because I didn't eat until a lot later (4:50). Gah, day ruiner #1. I hate feeling vulnerable. I hate wanting to cry. But all the things just keep building up, and the tears are just threatening to spill.

But hey, at least now I will know that the next person needing AB+ blood won't die of blood lost. Because if he/she does, then the doctor is obviously lying about "doing everything I could."

I mean, how the the universal receiver die of blood lost...? o.O

haha :D

Kind of disappointed that I didn't get to go do something that I've been looking forward to for a while.
...too bad I wasn't born couple years earlier. :/

Then maybe things would be different.
Everything would be different.